( @thatdudewallace )
Ever wondered what it’s like for the unassuming, non-politically minded citizens of the District of Columbia during inauguration? Yes? No? Well I’m going to inform you anyway… because if you’re one of those going berserk over the inauguration, it’s only right that you know a little about the people whose city you are temporarily inhabiting. Seeing as this is now (most unfortunately) Trump’s America, I will be referencing his awful supporters and exercising my right to the First Amendment (yes trolls, come attack me, I dare you).
!!! W-A-R-N-I-N-G !!!
Extreme doses of sarcasm and anti-Trump rhetoric lie below the read more. This post will likely trigger either laughs or an instinct to throttle the author (i.e. me), and lastly, offend any and all Trump supporters (a.k.a Trumpers) spanning anywhere from California to the East Coast.
So without further ado, click the read more if you would like to collect ammo to attack me with, or are simply curious about the day-to-day for a Washingtonian who has little involvement with politics. Below are some common occurrences for DC residents during the inaugural period.
1. Tourists clogging up elevators
You may think we can’t tell that you’re not from the city… but I can assure you that yes, oh yes, we can. The dead giveaway? Taking up the entire span of the escalator, leaving no room for inhabitants (such as myself) to walk or pass by at a normal speed to get where they need to go.
Sure I’m pretty understanding, but when I politely say,”Excuse me,” about 7 times and you STILL don’t move, that’s when we have a problem. If I have somewhere to be… of course I’m going to inform you that you’re standing on the wrong side of the escalator. You are literally a hindrance to my daily life and if you’re going to infiltrate MY city with your racist, bigoted, and offensive views, I would appreciate you learn how to use public transit without making me miss the trains I need to catch in the morning. Sorry not sorry. #EndRant
2. Hearing people screaming on the metro about whatever their views are
I get it, DC is a place for politics… but hey, believe it or not, people actually use the metro to travel to and from where they need to be. Not everyone in the city works for the federal government, and not every student you meet is a political science major or minor. Some people simply live in DC because they enjoy DC, as a place to live and a place to be. They didn’t ask to sit in on an inaugural party complete with hats, scarves, shouting and whooping every time they step foot on the subway. I used to find the metro relaxing– now I feel my eyeballs burning off every single time I see a wave of those stupid red hats.
3. Instead of getting catcalled by any old mysoginist on the street, I now get catcalled by mysoginists in Make America Great Again hats
Pretty much the moral of this story is that the same men donning pro-Trump paraphernalia are often the same men who try to claim,”Not all men,” but catcall every woman they see on the street like barbarians. Really, just take a step back and re-evaluate your… well, everything, bruh.
4. Being unable to meet a date for a cute museum and coffee date because all of the goddamn streets are roped off and the Smithsonians are shut down for inaugural celebration
You know, a girl just really wants to sightsee and get coffee with her bae (and co.) and she can’t. And you wanna know why? Because p-o-l-i-t-i-c-s.
5. Noticing that supporters from certain parties all happen to look alike…
You can just tell who is in town for the inauguration and who is actually from DC. It’s not hard. There is a certain look that acts as a dead giveaway for who-voted-for-who, and it’s nearly impossible to miss. Hint: Play Where’s Waldo with the Ivanka Voters and Trump Supporters, and it’s not a hard game at all.
6. Getting really worked up when you see rioters destroying your beautiful city
I wish some people would realize that SENSELESS VIOLENCE is NEVER the answer. No one can hear your voice when the destruction you create speaks louder than you ever could. How can the government even begin to take you seriously when all you’re doing is detracting from the quality of life for those who live in the district by smashing car windows and abusing our police? That’s just ridiculous. What has this city ever done to you? How would you feel about people leaving their garbage and creating violence where you like to go walk your dog? Yep, I don’t think you’d like it either.
7. Noticing when the weather acts as an omen
Call it crazy or superstition, but us DC residents notice when Mother Nature is crying, and most of the time, we are too. Of course we pay attention to political events, much as we may try to stay far away as possible. The day Trump’s election was finalized AND the day he was inaugurated, it rained. We can’t help but read that as an omen.
8. Excess rudeness from tourists
I get that you’re excited that it’s “Trump’s America” and all, but seriously– shouting profane things about Obama and implying it’s okay to grab a woman by the pussy is unacceptable. Trumpers quite literally yelled,”Lock her up,” when Hillary Clinton took the stage. Come on– be mature, and for the love of the Christ you love so much, be a decent human being.
9. Feeling annoyance when tourists assume that we’re happy about Trump being elected
Literally only 4% of us voted for Trump. That doesn’t mean we actually want Trumpers anywhere near us, or that we support our current “President Elect”. Please, for the love of God, stop screaming everywhere you go about how much you love Trump. Thank you.
10. Feeling hopeful after seeing the immense outpouring of support, acceptance, and love from peaceful protesters
I believe in the people of this country, and I believe in our future and where we are headed… despite the man who may be spearheading it. For all of you out there who feel afraid, who feel like they have no one to turn to and no one to protect them– I hear you, I see you, I feel for you… and I will always be the first to come running in order to protect you.
So there you have it– DC during inauguration through the eyes of a resident. Sounds like a great place to be, right? 😊😊 Just a reminder that other people exist in this world aside from you, and when you travel to a place that is not your home, realize that the city serves a purpose other than acting as a central breeding ground for whatever your agenda may be.